


Trapped

by Allie0963



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Episode: s13e06 The Bunker, F/F, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, JJ has a panic attack, Lesbian Emily Prentiss, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, emily comforts jj
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:34:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28177725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allie0963/pseuds/Allie0963
Summary: JJ attempts to hold back a panic attack after being trapped underground in the bunker with Reid; Emily attempts to comfort her.Based off of season 13 episode 6, The Bunker
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Kudos: 53





	Trapped

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t suffer from panic attacks, although I did once have PTSD, so I tried my best to make it as realistic as possible. Hope you enjoy :)

It had taken more willpower than JJ thought she had to remain calm when those doors had sealed her and Reid underground. At first, she was worried Reid was going to freak out, like he had when he first came back from prison, but her worries about her friend quickly dissipated when she realized her growing panic. 

The truth of the moment hit her a lot harder than she would have liked, after all, it had been about three years since Tivon Askari had kidnapped her and held her underground, almost like this. She wasn’t even tied up, it was simply the thought of being locked down here that suddenly brought her world crashing down upon her, but she couldn’t worry about that now. No, she appeared seemingly calm as she talked her way out of the situation, explaining to the group of girls the reality of their world; that it was simply as far from real as you could get. 

She did her best to hide her shaking arms as the four digit code signalled her freedom from this underground prison. Tight spaces had always done something to trigger those memories in the depths of her mind, even if the current reality wasn’t very similar to where she had been held. The tightness of whatever place she was in was a reminder she could not escape her own nightmares. 

Now, JJ stood, watching as children peered into the blue sky for the first time in their lives and as Joanna and her sister reunited after 5 years, something JJ wouldn’t get to do until the last of her days. The tightness in her chest hadn’t faded when she emerged from that prison. In fact, it had grown increasingly worse as her mind floated back to that day in February of 2014. She had to tell someone, she knew that. The last time she had attempted to mutter the words “I’m fine,” without admitting the truth to anyone, she had almost gotten herself blown up a few hours later, in a desperate attempt to prove she could still function, that she was still human. 

She inhaled deeply, fighting the urge to sink the ground and curl into a ball. She was a trained FBI agent. She was not weak. Her brain had long ago given up on calming down, the number 12 poised on her tongue, from when she had stopped counting. That anti-anxiety method had never worked for her in the first place. 

JJ glanced side to side, studying each of her friends closely. Even if he didn’t show it, she knew Reid must’ve felt something being locked in a room again. She had never been to prison, and yet, she was seemingly worse off than her best friend. Each time she thought about explaining to somebody what was going on inside her head she felt embarrassed. She shouldn’t be floating away from reality three years after she suffered through the worst 36 hours of her life. 

“Emily,” she finally choked out, turning to look at the older agent next to her. Emily drew her eyes away from the women emerging from the bunker. 

“What’s up, JJ?” 

“Can- can I talk to you for a second?” She had to get the words out, she had to let somebody know she was not okay before she spiraled off the edge of that cliff. She couldn’t go home to Will and the boys like this. Not again. 

Emily’s eyes were immediately filled with concern as she noted the anxious behavior of her younger teammate. “Sure,” she answered comfortingly, although uncertainty was poised on her tongue.

JJ’s hand lifted and she motioned off to the side, somewhere away from the commotion of people. Emily set a hand on JJ’s shoulder, unsure what this could be about. JJ was breathing heavily, that much was clear, the first warning sign of an oncoming panic attack. 

“What’s going on, Jen?” she asked once they were out of earshot. “Talk to me.” 

JJ shook Emily’s arm away, gripping her own shaking frame instead, trying to hide any visible sign that she was barely hanging onto reality. She sank her teeth into her lower lip, still attempting to shock her brain out of its panicked state. The sudden flashes to that room 3 years ago brought about a sudden spell of dizziness. She moved to grip Emily’s sleeve as she struggled to form words, her other hand clawing at the velcro on her vest, as her lungs lost their ability to function. 

“JJ,” Emily whispered, placing a comforting hand on her back. “Let me help you.” 

JJ stopped, resting her hands at her side as Emily removed the vest from her torso. A quick analysis of the way the blonde was clenching her fists and closing, and reopening her eyes was enough for Emily to gain some understanding of what was occurring. 

“Is that better?” Emily asked as the younger agent took a deep breath of air, slowly sinking to the ground. 

She nodded, dropping her head into her hands. “I’m sorry, Em.” 

Emily joined her friend on the ground. “Jen, there’s nothing to be sorry about.” 

“Underground,” JJ mumbled. “Felt like… it felt like.” 

Emily nodded, rubbing her hand soothingly along JJ’s back. “Can you tell me why it felt like that time?” she asked, even though she already understood. JJ needed to get the words out herself. That was the best way for her to get past this without acting like her trauma didn’t exist, just as Emily once had. 

JJ squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, trying to simultaneously will herself out of two different worlds. 

“JJ, look at me,” Emily instructed. “You’ve got to stay with me.” The older agent had enough experience with PTSD to know how easily you could lose someone within the horrors of their own mind. One second they were there, and the next they were drifting through a nightmare in the middle of the day. 

“I’m here,” said JJ softly. “I’m okay.” 

“Don’t say that. It’s okay to have bad days, even now. You were trapped underground, it reminded you of the only other time you had no control over yourself, is that right?” 

“Yes.” 

Emily looked expectantly at the agent on the ground, giving her time to form her own words. “It reminded me of when I got stuck in my head,” admitted JJ. “2 years ago, you weren’t there.” 

“What happened?” 

“I… lost control,” she replied. “I was trapped in my mind, and that bunker felt like a physical representation of the inability to get away from my nightmares.” 

“Is there anything I can do right now?” Emily asked. 

Her question was ignored as JJ continued. “Do you remember that one time Reid asked for the files on…” JJ paused, struggling to say her next words. “As… Askari?” 

“Was that the night you called me?” Emily asked. 

JJ nodded. “Yes. Do you remember it?” 

“Of course I do. I don’t think I ever told you how worried I was when I got a call from you at 3 am in the morning and you were barely able to form words.” 

JJ smiled sadly. “That day was the first time I couldn’t control what was happening. I kept slipping into these flashbacks. Everything felt so surreal. I made a bad decision and almost got myself blown up.” 

“Jayje-”

“Today was the first time since then that I felt that… lost. I was stuck in a box, and the walls just reminded me how my own mind could do things like this… make me ignore all protocol-” 

“You did really good down there, Jennifer,” interrupted Emily as she took her friends hand, squeezing it tightly. “You did everything right.”

“I was so scared I was going to lose my grip on everything, Em.” 

“You didn’t, though, did you?” 

“No.” 

“This is all going to be over by tomorrow, okay? I think you’ll feel a lot better once you get home and get some sleep, don’t you think?” 

JJ nodded slowly as she placed her hands on the ground and pushed herself to her feet. 

“Hey,” Emily said, catching her arm before she started to head back towards the others. “If you ever find yourself in a situation like that again, tell me and I will get you out of there, okay? It’s a lot easier to stop things before they’ve started, do you understand?” 

“Of course.” JJ nodded briefly, knowing that if it ever came down to that, she would ignore Emily’s offer because she was too damn stubborn. She was going to do everything in her power to beat the monsters in her mind. She was stronger than them. She had been for three years. She wasn’t going to give up now. 


End file.
